Sex toys for couples: where to start
Bringing a toy into the bedroom can feel like a big conversation. It does not have to be. Most couples find that the first toy is less about the toy and more about the permission to play. Here is how to raise it, what to start with, and what to try next.
How to bring it up
- Pick a calm moment, not in the middle of sex and not after an argument.
- Make it about "us", not about something missing. "I saw this and thought it could be fun to try together" lands better than "I think we need something new".
- Browse together. Choosing as a pair takes the pressure off and tells you a lot about what the other person is curious about.
Five easy starting points
| Idea | Why couples like it | Try |
|---|---|---|
| Massage | Slow, no pressure, a lovely way to start the night | Massage oils and candles |
| Blindfold | One small change, every touch feels bigger | Blindfolds |
| Vibrating ring | Hands-free buzz for both of you during sex | LELO Lifeguard |
| Remote toy | One wears it, the other holds the controls | Remote vibrators |
| A game | Breaks the ice and gives you ideas | Fun and games |
Toys you use together
Vibrating rings sit at the base of the penis and buzz against the clitoris during sex, so both partners feel it. The Tabooboo Between You and Me is a friendly first one; the Svakom Winni 2 adds a remote.
A small bullet is surprisingly useful too: it can be held against either of you during sex. See our first vibrator guide for the options.
Remote and app toys
These are the most fun for teasing. One partner wears a small vibrator, and the other controls it from a remote or an app, in the same room or across the country. The Svakom Elva is a simple remote bullet; the Svakom Ella Neo works over an app, so long-distance couples can play too.
Trying something new together
If you are both curious about light bondage, a beginners' bondage kit gives you soft cuffs, a blindfold and a tickler in one box. Agree a safe word before you start, and keep it light. A board game such as Kinky or Vanilla is another gentle way to find out what the other person would enjoy.
Don't forget the basics
A good lube makes everything better, toys included. Use water-based lube with silicone toys and condoms: our lube guide explains why. Wash toys after every use, and if you share a toy that goes inside, wash it between partners.
See our full gifts for couples. Every order arrives in a plain box, with nothing on the outside to say what is inside.